


1997

by stotch_writes_shit



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fraternities & Sororities, Hazing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-27 23:41:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30130665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stotch_writes_shit/pseuds/stotch_writes_shit
Summary: Jean Kirschtein asks the dorky, heavily freckled history major on a fake date as a part of a hazing ritual his prestigious fraternity puts him through. What he doesn't expect is how much he might enjoy his company."Jean’s stomach was in knots. He understood the purpose of this test and he got why… what he didn’t understand was the man of their choice. What was so special about Marco Bodt? He was carefully filed in with every other dorky, messy haired history major. Nothing about him caught Jean’s interest whatsoever. He had probably walked past him a million times without batting an eye."
Relationships: Marco Bott/Jean Kirstein
Comments: 4
Kudos: 46





	1997

**Author's Note:**

> I think about this plot point a lot so I had to write it! It's short but to the point. TW for the usage of the F slur. It's used purely for situational realism.  
> Music Inspiration:  
> \+ On The 5 - Winnetka Bowling League  
> \+ Shaky in the Knees - Grizfolk  
> \+ 45 - Bleachers  
> \+ Parents House - Kid Bloom

**_Hazing_ ** _is any action taken or any situation created intentionally that causes embarrassment, harassment or ridicule and risks emotional and/or physical harm_ **_to_ ** _members of a group or team, whether new or not, regardless of the person's willingness_ **_to_ ** _participate._

* * *

Jean’s entire life was written out in a planner about three inches thick. From the start of his life born 10oz into his perfect family on that sunny day in April to the first time he ever touched the course skin of a football, post-it notes and comments were meticulously placed into the pages to construct a life that could only be described as… perfect. School was something he had no choice but to excel at, spending his days with a slowly shortening pencil following that planner day in and day out. He hadn’t stopped to think along the way about it. Deviation from this was unacceptable.

Chapter 10, with footnotes, was his entire college career. Ohio State was _his_ school. There was never a second option. He truly believed, if not _now_ then _at the time_ , that this was his key to the successful life laid in front of him. One day this was to be handed to him on a silver platter after years of sacrifice and isolation he had faced. In his way was three more years of classes and the unfortunate decisions he made to join a particularly violent fraternity.

In the weeks he had spent deciding he should have thought a bit more about the semantics of something like this. The best fraternity for his career would effectively be the fraternity with the _worst hazing ritual_ on campus. If he had heard the rumors perhaps he wouldn’t have sent in his application. Perhaps he would have anyway, who knows. He certainly didn’t think too hard about it. 

The beginnings of his personal hazing started off simple. Jean was to address his superiors, or his soon to be brothers, appropriately and in a specific manner they had outlined for him. They would sometimes send him out on tasks either impossible to complete or seemingly too easy to make any real impression. The intensity increased a substantial amount as men began to fall out and resign before taking their pledge.

He had been kidnapped, drugged, flogged and forced to drink liquor with foreign labels. One particular time they had brought him out to the middle of nowhere and told him to get out and check if the gas cap was open, only for them to promptly leave him stranded with no phone expecting him to find his way back. All of that though he could handle. Taking it personally was no issue.

“You want me to do what?”

A rather burly man stood before Jean, looking down on him both physically and in its more widely used condescending manner. “Are you DEAF, pledge?”

“No, sir.”

“Then what did I ask of you, pledge?”

Jean swallowed hard, attempting to keep himself standing with his back straight. “I understood what you said. Can you please explain further, sir.” He made sure to force out the word _sir_ to ease the blow he was sure would come from asking for clarification on what was probably a simple task.

The man sighed to himself, moving to massage his temples in what seemed to be a comical overreaction. “You’re a football player, correct? The picture of masculinity. You must be very popular with the girls.” The boys that congregated around him laughed, tossing toothpicks as the aforementioned man continued to speak. “We’ve selected our choice of gentleman caller for you. A mister… Marco Bodt. History major… oh, active rainbow card!” 

“A certified _faggot_ .” Another man fanned himself. The leader of the group turned around and punched him directly in the gut for daring to speak out of turn. Jean winced as if that tightly balled fist had hit _him_ in the stomach.

“Anyway, distractions aside.” He put up his hand. “Mr. Marco Bodt is going to be so happy to know that you are going to take him out on a romantic date tonight. We’ve booked out your venue at the very popular little restaurant just outside of campus, window seat, of course. Only the best for your little boy toy!” The man's face curled into a malicious smile. “Don’t get me wrong boys, we all know our sweet little Jean is as straight as they come. So much so that he needs to be humbled. This little bout of public humiliation will show us how serious you want to be here with us, Jean. Not to mention, it’ll save some pussy for the rest of us. Do you understand? If he leans in to kiss you, we expect full tongue. And we’ll be watching you from back of house, understand?”

Jean nodded his head, toothpicks falling out of his hair and clattering against the hardwood floor. “Yes, sir.”

* * *

Jean’s stomach was in knots. He understood the purpose of this test and he got why… what he didn’t understand was the man of their choice. What was so special about Marco Bodt? He was carefully filed in with every other dorky, messy haired history major. Nothing about him caught Jean’s interest whatsoever. He had probably walked past him a million times without batting an eye. He looked down at the crumpled paper his soon-to-be brother had handed him earlier with skepticism.

_Marco Bodt, 21_

_Major: History_

_Minor: Psychology_

_Meet’s group of friends outside Stillman Hall around 4pm. Maybe wearing glasses (?)_

The note included a rather poorly taken image of the boy. He had short black hair and freckles that seemed to litter every bit of skin he could see. He just looked like a regular guy. Jean furrowed his eyebrows and crumpled the paper into a ball. This was so fucking dumb. After everything he’s been through he wasn’t going to give up now. This was relatively tame compared to a lot of what they put him through. Even so, his social status was a big part of the person he was aiming to be. He hadn’t done much to stand out in ways other than positive. To be forced on a date with a guy… one he had _never even met_ at a place that most students frequented… it was humiliating.

The blonde took a deep breath and threw the paper out in the nearest trash can. He could do this. No matter how stupid this was he _needed_ to be in this fraternity. The connections this would make… that was his priority right now.

Jean adjusted the rather large sports jacket on his shoulders, zipping it to combat the light breeze whipping through the space between buildings. Students were chatting at nothing more than a low hum as he walked by them. His eyes were searching for this Marco guy. Jean couldn’t help but think to himself… what if the boy said no? He wondered if they had taken that into account. He supposed maybe he hoped Marco would say no and that they would cut their losses and assign him to do something else.

After his walk to Stillman Hall he lifted his arm to check his watch. 4:15PM and no sign of him. Jean started to feel a bit more at ease thinking that maybe this whole thing was an elaborate joke. Maybe they were just fucking with him to see how far he would go. He comforted himself with those thoughts until he saw him. Marco _fucking_ Bodt.

The boy was walking along with what looked like a friend of his, his book pressed tightly to his chest. He looked to be wearing a slim fitting maroon sweater vest because _of course_ he was. Why would he be wearing anything different. Marco’s glasses were hanging around the collar of the white undershirt pressed and buttoned all the way up to his neck. Jean couldn’t help but pick apart his appearance in a fit of his own embarrassment. In all honesty, Marco was actually a very handsome man.

Jean felt the world come down on him as he took a step towards him, fully coming to terms with this task being something they legitimately wanted him to do. As he made his way over he noticed the bag hanging off Marco’s right shoulder with scattered pins in support of the LGBT community. Jean didn’t consider himself homophobic, of course. He had always believed that love couldn’t be controlled by the concept of gender… but he thought that quietly and would never make a scene defending that. If that made him a bad person he would just need to unpack that in private later.

Once he was within range he panicked for a conversation starter. He was mere feet away and he hadn’t even thought about how to go about this. He couldn’t just walk over to him and ask him out… he needed to make a fake connection. He needed to plan his best route in and his best route out.

“Hey, I like your pins.” Perfect, Jean thought to himself. _Perceptive_.

Marco seemed startled by his sudden compliment, turning to face Jean. The boy’s hand rushed to rub the back of his neck. His stance didn’t radiate confidence but Jean didn’t care much about that.

“Thank you! Oh-” Marco reached himself down and plucked one off of his bag. The pin was round and about a half an inch in diameter reading ‘Love > Hate’ in bright rainbow lettering. “Would you like one? I’m Marco, by the way...”

Jean felt like someone was squeezing their fist around his stomach. “Sure, thank you… I’m Jean” He took the pin from him and rolled it around in his fingers as he introduced himself. “Um, I couldn’t help but notice you coming out of the lecture hall, Marco. Forgive me if it’s presumptuous to ask this but… would you like to go out sometime?” He tried to keep his tone as streamlined as possible, unable to make eye contact with him. Luckily his ‘bashful’ attitude played out because when his eyes averted back to Marco his freckled cheeks were dusted in a bright pink. Success, he thought. That was a lot easier then he assumed it would be.

“Oh, um… _wow_ , sure.” Marco chuckled, kicking his feet lightly against the ground. “Excuse me, it’s not every day you get asked out by someone as handsome as you. When were you thinking?”

“Do you live on campus? I can pick you up at 7 tonight.” That was when the guilt started to set in. God, what was he doing? 

“I do! That sounds perfect. Should I dress nice or do you just wanna like, hang out? I’ve got the perfect pajamas for a movie night.” Marco openly flirted with him. His friend turned towards his phone seemingly in an effort to leave them to their conversation. “Oh, Armin I’m so sorry! I forgot we had plans tonight!” Marco turned over to him. 

“We can reschedule. Don’t worry about me.” Marco’s friend, Armin, said with a smile.

“As long as you’re sure- Uh… Jean, was it? Let me see your phone, I’ll put my number in there.”

Jean stood there a moment before jumping into action, pulling his cell out of his pocket. He quickly put on ‘do not disturb’ in case someone texted him at an inopportune moment before clicking over to open a conversation in the messenger app. 

“Text yourself so I know I have the right number.”

“No problem.” Marco’s grin was so wide Jean thought this must have made Marco’s day. Poor guy, he thought, being used like this. How humiliating this will end up having to be for the both of them. It was a shame, he seemed really nice. “There you go! Um, I’m really excited for tonight.” Marco handed back his phone with a smile. 

“Yeah, me too. Sorry, I didn’t answer your question before. You can dress however you want.” Jean smiled, trying to keep a straight face. “So… 7, then?”

“Absolutely! I’ll text you around 6:30 to make sure we’re still on!”

* * *

Jean had decided he wasn’t going to get too dressed up for this. It wasn’t something he was super invested in and considering he knew how this was going to end he didn’t want to make any obscene amount of effort for it. It was just a date he hoped would be over before he knew it.

Marco had texted a couple of times in between when they had last spoken and now, mostly asking about what Jean was wearing and where they were going. Both of which he didn’t respond to until he messaged again at 6:30 to make sure they were still going. He told him he was going to be wearing something casual since the restaurant he was taking them to wasn’t fancy, just a quick spot for students who needed to feel like they were consuming five star cuisine. Marco replied quickly to let Jean know he was ready whenever he was.

Jean really took his time getting into his car to pick him up. He really didn’t want to be doing this. The longer he thought about what he was doing the worse he felt about it. As much as he wanted this to be a one and done he knew he was going to hurt someone's feelings and that was an ever creeping fear.

The boy pulled up in front of Marco’s complex, messaging him to let him know he was waiting.

Not even a minute later he caught sight of him walking towards his car. Jean was so fucking embarrassed about how he was dressed when he saw Marco. He had done his hair, slicking it back a bit so the bangs he had seen earlier were pulled up out of his face. He wore a white shirt with a tan cardigan buttoned all the way up, his sleeves rolled with a black Casio watch tightly fastened on his left wrist. The boy looked around before setting his eyes on Jean’s car, excitedly walking over to settle into the front seat. “Hi! Jeez, it’s a bit cold, maybe I should have brought a jacket.” he commented, rubbing at his upper arms as he adjusted to the heat Jean was blaring in the car.

Jean felt like such a piece of garbage, turning his head as his cheeks grew red with embarrassment. “Yeah, I made that same mistake. You look really good tonight.”

Marco’s laugh was really adorable. “Thank you so much. I think I might have overdone it. When you said casual you _really_ meant casual. Either way, you look so handsome. God, I’m so excited. I haven’t been on a date in so long, I can’t help but be nervous.” He droned on and on, clearly word vomiting in anticipation of the night he was hoping to have.

“Don’t be nervous, we’re going to have fun tonight. You can order whatever you want.” Jean said, shifting his car into drive as he pulled out from the side of the road. He tried to justify what he was doing but found it increasingly hard to be confident in this decision. Jean had been unable to throw out the button Marco had given him out of guilt. He seemed like such a selfless guy it made Jean’s insides twist.

They arrived at the restaurant a bit later then he intended, hoping his brothers were already there waiting to see that he was actually doing this. Subconsciously he hoped this would go out without a hitch and he could quietly ghost Marco after.

“Wait here a sec.” Marco said as he unbuckled his seatbelt. He got out and closed his door before running around the hood and opening up the car door for Jean like a gentleman would.

“Thank you.” Jean said, trying to ease into the thought of being here with him. It was a little unsettling but he enjoyed the way Marco had been talking to him and treating him. He was so sweet…

“Of course, my father always said to open the door for your dates… especially the ones you’re eager to impress.” Marco’s smile wavered a bit, clearly embarrassed that he said that. God, why did Jean find that so fucking endearing? “I’m sorry, I’m really trying not to blow this and I keep saying such stupid things.” He huffed under his breath, stepping away as Jean got out of the car.

“What? Stop that, it's so sweet of you to try and impress me. I’m sorry I’m not exactly impressive myself.” Jean’s self depreciation was shining through. He was ridden with guilt and it was starting to bubble over into the date. 

“You don’t need to impress me, are you kidding? You’re _so_ beautiful. I was so surprised when you wanted to take me out… you’re so out of my league it's insane.” Marco gently held on to Jean’s arm. The blonde didn’t try to stop him, even enjoying the closeness.

People were staring and for some reason he wasn’t as bothered as he thought he would be. The stares didn’t feel malicious… he realized that if anything people thought it was kind of sweet. Jean relaxed and lifted his arm a bit so Marco could get a better hold on his bicep.

Marco was eager to get inside, pulling on him a bit through the entrance. The hostess seated them right by the window as his brothers had said, under the haphazardly hung white Christmas lights that dangled just above the neon ‘Open” sign. Marco looked up at them in awe. Was he this easily impressed?

“I’ve never been here before, what a cute spot.” Marco said, picking up the menu. “You have to tell me about yourself, stranger. Who is Jean?” He asked. Jean watched Marco’s eyes flutter back and forth from the menu up to him. “All I know is you’re a part of the school's football team. I’m sure there's much more to you then that.”

Jean shrugged his shoulders, picking up his own menu. “That really is all there is to me. I play football, I major in management. My favorite color is red.” He chuckled, setting down his menu and resting his cheek against his hand. No one had ever really bothered to ask him about himself so he was struggling to find something to say. “Being a football player seems to be a lot of my personality lately. I don’t think anyone has ever cared to know anything else.”

Marco pursed his lips, mimicking Jean’s motions and setting down his own menu. “What? That’s crazy. I want to know about your family… your hopes and dreams… your favorite foods. If I’m being honest I’d rather talk about anything BUT football. I’m not big into sports.” His smile was _ethereal_.

Jean signed, rather grateful he didn’t want to talk about football. “Ah, that’s pretty loaded, hm? Well, I was raised by a single mother and later on my step father. Uh… god, hopes and dreams? I don’t even know…” Jean paused. What a question to ask. “My life has been planned out from start to finish. I wouldn’t call those hopes or dreams… more like expectations” He went to say more but Marco beat him to the punch.

“What? That seems really... _boring._ Do you have anything you _want_ to do?”

Jean was floored by that question. Marco seemed to take a real interest in him he hadn’t expected. This was starting to feel more like an actual date then he intended and honestly… he didn’t even mind. Marco was disgustingly adorable… from his eyes to his attitude Jean was enamored in a way he hadn’t felt before. “That’s a good question.” He pondered. “I guess I would have to say… I was really big into art when I was a kid. I did a lot of portraits and paintings in my free time. I want to do stuff like that again… maybe as a side gig or even just for fun.” He mused, politely pausing his sentence as the waiter came over.

“Can I get you boys started on some drinks this evening?” He asked, notebook and pen in hand.

“I’ll just have water.” Marco smiled.

“Coke, please.” 

“Anyway.” Marco said as the waiter excused himself to get their drinks. “I think you should. Art is such a great way to express yourself. I would love to see some of it sometime. I bet you’re good at it too. That's just a hunch.” 

Marco’s laugh was so attractive Jean felt himself spiraling. He was embarrassed to admit that he was actually having fun sitting here talking to him…

“Ah, stop. It’s just okay. I haven't done anything in so long I don’t know if I could even muster up a stick figure… either way, your turn. Tell me about Marco.” Jean admired him on the down-low. He had really pretty features… a sharp jawline, the cutest nose. Jean wanted to think about what Marco would look like as a girl to protect his current identity but honestly he was gorgeous just the way he was. God, what a bad situation to have a sexual identity crisis in.

The freckled boy smiled, resting both forearms on the table. “Well, nothing special in the family area. Grew up in Minnesota… Majoring in History, which they don’t tell you it’s actually _horrifically_ boring. I was thinking about changing my major. Not sure yet. Um… my favorite color is yellow.” He shifted a bit in his seat.

“You seem the type to have yellow as their favorite color.”

Marco opened his mouth in a silent gasp. “What is THAT supposed to mean?”

Jean let out a laugh, snorting a bit much to his dismay. “It’s a compliment! Yellow is a very… bubbly color. It’s also a color I bet would really compliment your skin tone.” He was fully comfortable in the situation now, taking his turn trying to flirt with him.

Marco responded with a blush, covering his mouth. “Stop, you’re too fucking cute.”

“Your drinks.” The waiter said, setting them down on their respective ends of the table.

“Thank you so much.” Marco politely said.

“Of course! Are you ready to order?”

Jean and Marco glanced at each other before nodding in unison.

“Do you want to share an appetizer?” Marco asked. “The spinach artichoke dip looks to die for.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Jean said, looking over at the waiter. “We’ll take the spinach dip. I’ll have uh… the Chicken Parm… and you?” His confidence was booming… he’s never felt so comfortable with someone.

“Oh! I’ll have the same thing!” Marco laughed, picking up his glass to have a sip of his water.

The waiter complimented their choices before taking his leave yet again.

“He seems like such a nice guy. He deserves a big tip.” Marco set down his glass. “Jean, I really want to thank you for taking me out tonight. I haven’t had this much fun on a date… probably ever. Talking to you is so natural and the words just come easily. I’m so glad you asked me out.” Marco was very clearly flirting with him, one hand moving to play with the top button of his cardigan. “It’s probably too early to tell but… I hope that maybe there will be a second date…” 

Jean watched how bashful he was and felt like the biggest piece of human trash on the planet. This was so fucked up of him to do to somebody. The fact that he even justified this to himself made him want to claw his own fucking eyes out. Marco was such a great guy… handsome, kind, and funny. He found himself not wanting to fuck things up with him and genuinely _wanting_ a second date. “And you say I’m the cute one…”

The waiter didn’t take long to bring out their food for them. Everything on their abnormally warm plates looked delicious, Marco in particular commenting on this. Jean could see the look in his eyes and god, if he could take a picture of this moment with his eyes he would. They ate and chatted about a lot of stuff Jean hadn’t really told anyone. He confided in Marco how hard it was to live up to the standard that was set for him and how sometimes he just wanted to veer off plan and start living for him. He even admitted that he _hated_ playing football, something he never trusted anyone enough to say. Marco had brought up that they should elope and move to Michigan, which Jean retorted that no one moves _to_ Michigan. Marco thought that was pretty funny.

He had left for the bathroom once they had finished their meal. It took him an abnormal amount of time and even under the circumstances Jean was kind of worried he would dip out on him. He picked nervously at a napkin on the table until Marco came back over, settling down into his seat.

“I’ll ask for the bill if you’re all set.” Jean said with a smile.

“No worries, I paid for it.”

“What?”

Marco blushed, rubbing at his upper arm. “I planned on paying the whole time… I can’t help it. I had such a great time with you-”

“Well, lookie here! Pledge Kirschtein actually did it.” A familiar burly voice called out, clapping as he walked over. Marco froze in his spot, turning his head to the man and then back to Jean. “Sorry, princess. Did I scare you?”

“Jean… who is this?”

Jean’s stomach twisted impossibly tight. Fuck… of course. He felt like he couldn’t even talk, hanging his head in humiliation.

“I can’t believe you actually convinced him to go on a ‘date’ with you.” He physically did air quotes as he spoke. “Nicely played. You really proved to us that you would do anything to be in our frat, even taking a fag on a fake date. Get ready to take that pledge, brother. Congratulations.” The man moved and sharply pat Jean on the shoulder. “Aw, look at his face.”

Jean looked up at Marco and felt like he was going to wither away. Marco looked absolutely fucking broken, barely holding himself together. Jean could tell he was trying really hard not to cry in the middle of the restaurant. This was horrible. Not only was he actually having a good time before all of this… he genuinely thought maybe him and Marco could have had something. Maybe it was wishful thinking but still.

“Um… okay.” Marco’s voice broke, frantically moving to wipe his face. He looked so hurt Jean wanted to throw up. The boy quickly stood himself up with his fists balled, turning himself around and quickly walking out of the restaurant. Jean figured he didn’t mean to but on his way around the front of the restaurant he passed the windows, tears flooding down his face as his hand covered his mouth.

“Haha, holy shit. That was crazy… you’re a stone cold bitch, brother. Welp, do you want to get a drink before we head out? You can tell me all the dirty details.”

Jean choked down his disappointment, laughing a bit in disbelief. “Sorry, I got an early lecture tomorrow. Shouldn’t have even been out here doing this stupid shit. Raincheck?”

“No problem dude, see you.”

Jean stood himself up and quickly made his way out of the joint. He pulled himself off to the side and lit up a cigarette, waiting for his frat brother to get into his car and leave before practically _sprinting_ in the direction Marco had left in. God he really fucked up… he was such a fucking loser for doing that to him. When he spoke to Marco he felt like he actually listened and responded to his words and after the joy Marco had given him disappointing him to this degree was unforgivable. He was so frantic while he was looking for him he ran right past him as he sat on the floor next to some random bus bench. His knees were hiked up to his chest, trembling as he silently cried.

When he heard him he turned sharply on his heels in attempts to slow himself down before walking back over to him.

“Get the fuck away from me.” Marco wrapped his arms around his knees and buried his face into them to hide his tears. “You’re a fucking sicko.”

“Please, just give me a chance to explain.”

Marco kept his head buried. “What could you possibly have to say? Sorry? You can go fuck yourself with your apology. I’m not going to forgive you to make you feel better about being the worst.” he dug his nails into his shoulders, scrunching up the fabric of his cardigan. “I’m so fucking stupid to think that someone like you could genuinely like me.”

“I’ll let you call me whatever you need to but don’t you dare say shit like that about yourself.” Jean spoke in a stern voice. He didn’t care if he was in the middle of the sidewalk. He sat down with his legs crossed in front of him, tossing the cigarette in his fingers even though it was only about a quarter smoked. “You aren’t stupid. I’m the fucking stupid one. I was having such a good time with you.”

“I’m serious if you don’t get away from me I’ll fucking scream.” He wept into himself.

“Marco, I’m begging you. Just hear me out please.” Jean felt his voice start to waver. “I never meant to hurt you… I never wanted to… I know that what I did was despicable.” He took a deep breath. “All those things I told you were real. I _hate playing football_. I hate being a management major. All I’ve ever been is a link in the chain and I don’t… feel like I have to be someone I’m not with you… I’ll never forgive myself for the intention behind our date but I am so fucking happy that I did it because I got to meet you.”

Marco stayed quiet, sniffing pathetically into his arms. “You’re a stupid fucking person. Like, a really fucking stupid individual. I’ve never met anyone as stupid and fucking cruel as you.”

“At the very least, let me take you home.” Jean begged. “I don’t want you to walk all by yourself in the dark...”

The boy hesitated, lifting his head but refusing eye contact. Instead of speaking he stood himself up, his hair was now a messier version of what it once was. His head hung, stepping over Jean. “Don’t even look at me, just take me home.”

Jean jumped to his feet to follow him, the both of them walking over to Jean’s car in silence. Jean knew he deserved to be hated by him but it killed him in the same breath. As they drove he couldn’t choke down the words that haunted his thoughts. “Marco… I know you don’t want to hear it now but… I really liked the idea of a second date. I would have taken you on one. I would have kissed you before you got out of my car tonight. I would have done that. You’re an amazing guy and you’re too fucking good for a piece of shit like me. I’ll probably finish school and fade off into obscurity and not become the special person everyone thinks I’m going to be. You though, you’re smart and you’re fucking beautiful and you have so much going for you. Don’t let scum like me make you feel like you’re not. I am so unbelievably sorry. I’ll hate myself for the rest of my life.”

Marco’s silence was deafening. The boy turned his head towards Jean but it felt like he was looking right through him. “You would have kissed me?”

“Marco I’d kiss you right now, in front of everyone on fucking campus. I don’t fucking care. I’ll turn down my spot in the frat, I’ll do close to anything if you just give me the chance to take you out again the right way.” Jean pulled up to the same curb he picked Marco up from just an hour or two earlier, forcing the car into park before meeting his eyes. He hadn’t realized Marco was still crying but his face had softened a considerable amount.

Jean thought he was giving him a signal and quickly leaned over the center console, his hands on either side of Marco’s face as he pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. Marco didn’t pull back, his hands reaching forward to grab at Jean’s shirt. The blonde could taste his tears on his lips and wished he had never caused them to fall.

Their lips lingered together before Jean pulled back, keeping his cheeks in the palm of his hands. Marco met his eyes and grabbed Jean’s wrists to remove his grip. 

“Goodbye, Jean.” He said.

Jean almost locked the doors so he couldn’t leave. He desperately wanted to talk this out but he knew it was better to just let it go. He fucked up and it was over.

He drove home in shame, fighting the typical white boy ‘punch a hole in the wall’ emotion as he paced his dorm. This sucked. _He_ sucked.

Jean settled himself down after a couple of hours and lay resting on his bed. His interest peaked when he heard the sudden chime of his text tone, digging in his pocket to open up his unread message. His eyes scanned it, processed it, and smiled.

_ > Next Wednesday at 8. You pay. Don’t make me regret it. _

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment and let me know what you think!


End file.
